Amar'e Stoudemire criticized his new Mavericks teammates after a 33-point loss for joking around too much.

OK, maybe you have a point. The veteran Dallas team shouldn't be losing by that much. But you really have no room to talk about taking things more seriously when you show up looking like a mix between Captain Hook and Michael Jackson.

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Needless to say, the Internet wasn't going to let Stoudemire get away with this. FIRE HIM UP!

I can't breathe.